The Nub

The Nub
When the Revolution comes, a NUB will lead them!

Saturday, February 25, 2012

12.5 seconds of Terror, THE OCTAGON

The menace threatens, closing
And I'm frozen in the shadows
I'm not prepared to run away
And I'm not prepared to fight

I have a certain disdain for the stupefyingly popular MMA. I openly admit I don't know much about the "sport", I have never intentionally watched it, and without fail I certainly cast quick judgement on any douche wearing an 'Affliction' t-shirt.  I do know one thing; if I walked through that chain linked cage door I would pee in my shorts, and want my mommy.

There in lies the question, exactly how long would it take 3 Fingers to 'tap out' inside the Octagon?  This burning question spurned a solid hour long bar debate last night, and had the wings we ate not inflicted (or is that afflicted?) such horrible dupa smells we might of solved it. 
Hey Tina Whigam I'm gonna eat ya!

 Double Douche

After a few horrifying run through the horse brews, we set the over-under at 12.5 seconds. 

Your loyal author of this blog is 5'6" 160 Lbs.  So that means I am short and a bit doughy. Could I possibly run around for 12.2 seconds?  This is based on the assumption that when caught I would tap out in .3 seconds.  Could I elude the piece of re-bar in shorts before he put me in the "Japanese Backpack".

I thought about this all night. I got to think that I could zig, zag, jump, duck, bob, weave, hit him with a 3 fingered nub rub, and donkey punch my way to safety for at least 12.5 seconds.

And then I did some research.  I'm screwed.

Watch this:

While that took 51 seconds, is there any doubt he could do that to me in less than 12.5?  Let alone the 100 vids I saw with knockouts in 1 punch and in less than 8 seconds. I  think I'll  take my pee stained shorts and go back to my cubicle.  Jesus, that is simply brucious!

What say you faithful readers? 

What about this one? Start in row 5 at Daytona and not crash in 12.5 seconds? That will have to wait.  I'll challenge Dlee to guest blog about it.

Good luck, good night, and don't get in the Octagon!

3 Fingers



  1. 5'6" ??? Did you grow since I left?

  2. I love you Kreeeba! Anub, I say 4 seconds. Guess what I saw the other day? An Affliction collared shirt. VonDouche?