My favorite email

I get so angry, but I keep my mouth shut
And turn it up!

NP-1993

I found this wonderful email smack down of what seems to be a rogue media vendor.  I don't know the companies involved, but I am proud of whoever wrote this.   All names and certain items are edited to protect the innocent.  

This is the definitive of how you smack down a vendor:

Guy with extremely bad reputation,

It amazes me that you and presumably your attorney would put in so much time getting approval from  huge national company that has more lawyers per square inch then Holland, Mi has churches on this usage of their name and not consider that it might be helpful to at some point have confirmation of that approval in writing.  Unfortunately, your actions over the past couple months have proven to me that I cannot trust you at your word.  I do not intend to contact your attorney, and I will not tell you again that his opinions hold no value to anyone. It is not your company that is responding to constant complaints regarding this shady advertising method,  it is not you who are dealing with consumers upset that your shady advertising method is nowhere close to the value of the incentive being given, and it is not your company dealing with guys who have just love to bury you in legal paperwork.  Until you start taking real responsibility for what you encourage to put in these shady advertising methods, I have no interest in these "discussions" with you beyond your sending me a proof, my marking it up, you sending a final draft to me for approval and my being able to see EVERY version of your shady advertising method that you send out on behalf of one said company from now until you are no longer doing business with anyone.

A few things that are specifically on my mind at this moment:

1) I do not appreciate the fact that yesterday you submitted a sample for review which is nowhere near the compliant sample we worked to develop.  You are wasting my time by continuing to use shady advertising methods that don't even meet the minimum disclosure standards and if I have to continue making the same changes to these shady advertising methods I will recommend to our executive staff that another stop it or or my mom will shoot notices goes out immediately. 

2) If I EVER see another shady advertisement method that states a value higher than what you would pay for a nice dinner with your sweety, said company will hold you personally responsible for any complaints we receive from the consumer.  I suggest you get your staff working on this change immediately for the shady advertising methods you will no doubt be putting out next Monday.  If said company wants you to put something higher than the value of a nice dinner with your sweety, then you can direct them to me and tell them to have all other details ready before they call. 

3) In our meeting, we specifically addressed the fact that the said company is not the enemy and that we are doing what we have to do to protect the businesses of said company while at the same time working our tails off to ensure we remain profitable.  Do not paint me as a "hero" for approving a shady advertising piece that does not pass our legal standards, while subtly suggesting that I am a villain if I make any changes to it.  I will consider myself a hero when said company no longer feel the need to use a shady advertising method. 

4) Also at our meeting, we made two requests of you - one to provide an excel spreadsheet, with several columns of information regarding said company using your service and the other to let me see every shady advertising method starting now.  You have done neither.  You copied and pasted some information in to an e-mail regarding said company, but it is incomplete and does us little good since it is in this format and you provided a weak excuse for why you couldn't let me see every shady advertising method that went out.  If we do not receive the requested spreadsheet by the end of this week and I do not have access to every shady advertising method that goes out next week, you can consider your business with said company over permanently. 

Your reputation precedes you, guy with incredibly bad reputation.  We have educated ourselves on your background, on the complaints flying around the internet regarding the shady advertising method you so proudly use (with a disclaimer to your client that you have no responsibility for what is on them), and on your own legal history as well as that of some of your clients.  Said company prides itself on working with "best-in-class" partners in every aspect of our business.  You are not living up to that standard and we question whether you have the ability to change.  Prove us wrong. 

Respectfully,

My hero

Good work faceless internet hero, and good day,

3 Fingers