The Nub

The Nub
When the Revolution comes, a NUB will lead them!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

A special message from HouseOfAnub

Nowhere we can fly away
Nowhere we can rest
The party is disrupted by
An uninvited guest

NP-1984

I am taking a sick day.  As VLV can attest, I am full of this hyper active snot that shoots out of these grotesque rough red holes in my face at super sonic rates that even Chuck effing Yeager would respect.  

It is with "cough", great joy, "sneeze", "hack", I bring you Mrs. Anub. She has a special view into the ying and yang of 3 Fingers.  She is the mother of 2 Anub children and only by the grace of good beer has she put up with me going on 20 years.  Without further ado, welcome HouseOfAnub! %^$#%$
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Well here it goes… my first contribution to the now infamous 3 Fingers and Anub blog.  Compared to what you normally find here I can promise two differences: 1) Coherence and 2) Better spelling.  As I write this my poor husband (aka Anub) lies near death’s door on the couch suffering from what can best be described as a bad cold.  The only things keeping him going at this point are watching Tiger at Pebble Beach and Puffs Plus w/lotion.  I may have to have some “Save Anub” pins made up if things don’t look better soon.

After reading the random ramblings and odd videos that seem to be his bread and butter I thought a little pop quiz might be fun -- or at least somewhat entertaining.  The subject, of course, will be the fearless leader of this blog.  His faithful readers (there are at least two so I can make that plural) may think they know the real Anub, but do they really know him??  If you feel you already know too much, or as much as you would ever like to know, stop reading now. 

For the brave souls continuing on, grab a pen and paper and get ready… this could literally be the hardest quiz you’ve ever taken.

Part 1, Multiple Choice
1.       As a child he broke his leg doing which of the following:
A.      Sliding into home base and colliding with the catcher.
B.      Biking too fast downhill and getting his leg caught up in the spokes.
C.      Skiing + tree = ouch.
D.      Wrestling with his sister.

2.    If he was to overhear someone say Mondo sucks as a designer her would:
A.      Ignore it -- who the hell is Mondo?
B.      Disagree and point out how great Mondo is with prints.
C.      Pretend to ignore it, but on the inside curse that bitch who won instead of Mondo.
D.      Think about how he misses Tim and Heidi on All Stars this season.

3.      Which of the following swill would he find least objectionable:
A.      Miller Lite
B.       Bud Light
C.       Corona
D.      Busch

4.       Thanks to Netflix, he has watched every available episode of which of the following television series twice… and he thinks the kids watch too much TV:
A.      30 Rock
B.      The Wire
C.      Breaking Bad
D.      Arrested Development

5.       Ever the romantic, he proposed:
A.      At a Yankee game
B.      At a Rush concert
C.      In our basement
D.      Drunk in a bar

6.       Which of these teams almost ruined our wedding:
A.      The Yankees
B.      The Jets
C.      The Knicks
D.      The Blackhawks

7.       In his travels he has had numerous random celebrity encounters/sightings, which of these is not one of them:
A.      MC Hammer
B.      Bill Cosby
C.      Fred Savage
D.      The Hoff
E.       John F Kennedy, Jr.

8.      He pretends to loathe celebrity news and gossip, but reads what magazine on a regular basis:
A.      People
B.      Entertainment Weekly
C.      Us Weekly
D.      In Touch

9.      This chokes him up every time:
A.      Anyone sinking a putt on 18 to win
B.      Golfer hugging his dad on 18 at the US Open
C.      Yankees winning the World Series
D.      F*@%# Sanchez and the f*@%# Jets losing in the f*@%# AFC Championship game two f*@%# years in a row and then not even making the f*@%# playoffs the following f*@%# year.   F*@%# Brady.
E.       A, B & C.  D just f*@%# pisses him off.

Part 2, True or False

10.   He would rather watch an episode of Downton Abbey than go grocery shopping.
11.   His 6 year old son knows more about doing laundry than he does.
12.   He never gets flustered ordering at the drive thru.
13.   He thinks knitting is for old ladies.
14.   He thinks Harry Potter books are for kids.
15.   Not only does he think the glass is half empty, but that someone probably spit in it, too.
16.   Pineapple has no business on a pizza.

That should be plenty for now.  Post your answers in the Comment section and we’ll see which sorry soul knows the most about Anub besides me.  I’ll supply the correct answers in a couple of days, assuming of course that I’m not too busy distributing those “Save Anub” pins. 


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Umm thanks!  

Good Night and "COUGH"
3 Fingers

4 comments:

  1. Stop spitting in my coffee mug! I'm clueless on most of these, but I'm pretty sure he broke his leg in the spokes of his bike, Miller Lite is the best beer of those that have already been run through the horse once, and he's been watching way too much Jack Donaghy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Could you please re-write this entire post with fewer words, punctuation and logic? I'm a bit confused by it. Thank you. Now on to the quiz:
    1:I want this to be D, but I think it's A.
    2:C
    3:Trick question. Those are all equally horrid.
    4:C
    5:C
    6:A
    7:E
    8:B
    9:E
    10:False but it's a close one.
    11:True
    12:False
    13:True
    14:True
    15:True and the other glass is filled with pee.
    16:True

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1. B, assuming his legs were long enough to get caught in the spokes
    2. C
    3. D, but only because he thinks it's funny to lap up some Busch.
    4. A
    5. D? Wishes it was B
    6. A
    7. D???
    8. C
    9. E
    10. True
    11. True
    12. False
    13. False
    14. False
    15. True
    16. True

    ReplyDelete
  4. HouseofAnub Rules! We need more posts by this this modern day heroine. Praise be HouseofAnub.

    1)b
    2)d
    3)c
    4)c
    5)c
    6)b
    7)e
    8)a
    9)e
    10)true
    11)true
    12)false
    13)true
    14)false
    15)true
    16)false

    ReplyDelete