Moons, Fat People, Sarcasm or Dick?, Mitt

"Young enough not to care too much
About the way things used to be
I'm young enough to remember the future -
The past has no claim on me

I'm old enough not to care too much
About what you think of me
But I'm young enough to remember the future
And the way things ought to be"  NP 1993

As I was driving home tonight and saw this huge winter moon glowing brightly out my windshield, it felt so close it was as if I could reach out and grab it.  It was intoxicating, inviting, and mystifying.  Why is it there, what is it doing messing with the tides and menstrual cycles?  As I stared at that huge white orb, I was able to put aside the stress of our indefinite future and just let the music blare and my brain go blank.  I forgot about work, forgot about not having enough money, forgot about the stress of parenting two little kids who need you in every way possible, and basically let every little nag that sits on my brain, the ones that force me to stare at the ceiling looking at the red lights that say 3:13 AM and shout out  "you're going to be a loser if you don't do something now, so why bother sleeping asshole?"  Basically I need more moons. 

**So why is it that fat people who are out in public refuse to wear big clothes, and force us to see their gross fat spill out of spandex?  Look I was a bit of tub for about 3 years.  I had this notion that if I drank beer every day and ate lots of pizza I could become a perfect human circle.  But even in my fattest state, I just bought bigger clothes to hide my fatty embarrassment.  

What I saw Saturday at the Merrillville Target (my favorite French superstore) was a collection of people who had stock in spandex.  Did they mistake Target for a Zoomba class.  As if they could do one of those sexy hip shakes without throwing up last nights double chocolate 2 million calorie frappafuckingchino.  Stop it people, take some pride in yourself, and if you can't lose the weight, just cover yourself up with about 4 sizes bigger.  Thanks from all of us. 

**Question, can sarcasm cross over the line to nothing but being a pure dick?  You be the judge.  My wife kids and I were heading into the city.  We had to re-velcro the IPass on the windshield.  About a 1/2 hour in, while she was dealing with the 450th "mom" request from the back seat dumpster children, the velcro gave way and the IPass dropped to the floor in a loud clutter.  My poor wife then said the following fateful words "Was that the IPass?"  Now I had 2 choices:

1. Just be a nice guy and say, "yeah it fell down".  - or -

2. Say something sarcastic.

I chose 2.  "No hon we were just hit by a syphilitic mildly retarded rooster who busted through the windshield in a vieled attempt to show off to his lady friend".  Dick or sarcasm?  

**Mitt Romney won't be president. That is all.

I am starting to wonder if the bump in my head will start talking to my nub.  I wonder what they will say to each other.  Super Pac unite!

3 Finger