rising falling at force ten
we twist the world and ride the wind
we twist the world and ride the wind
NP-1987
Strut that ASS (trust me Youtube search it, smile and move on) because the nub is tingling (ok that is gross) with new brain dumps. Very happy that we hit a personal goal of page views but now is not the time to rest, now is the time to explode, and go for the it. How big you might ask? Let's just say Legal Zoom and a TM are not far away. I still need a sophisticated logo maker and we will make our first product... the world awaits, Anub twitches.
This place was created as a way to brain dump, and expand our angry horizons. TONIGHT we experience a step in that direction as we introduce our first ever guest blogger "White Chocolate SB". She brings it in more ways than one (HR HELLO!). I welcome all the faithful to present copy to be a part of the 3 Fingers brand, White Chocolate has set a high standard, but I know you all can do it, so look me up and bring it.
Let's start tonight with our esteemed guest, and then dive into why 3fingersandanub puts random to shame. White Chocolate!
Indecision over the Leap Second is f*cking my life.
How, how else can all this madness be explained? You see,
just this week, members of the International Telecommunications Union (ITU)
have again postponed a decision on whether to abolish the Leap Second, and analysts
say the topic will likely be tabled until 2015.
WHAT? Another 3 years? Do you know what havoc this
indecisiveness has wreaked on my life?
I present to you a few scenarios that have clear and evident
ties back to the Leap Second, and the turmoil over its existence. For you “fact-based
marketers,” click here http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/349204/leap-second-may-live to an
article on the subject. For you blind followers, read on for my very scientific
and accurate assessment.
1.
My clocks all read different times. Well, most
of them (READ: those dependent upon humans to program them).
a.
I noticed today that my microwave and oven
clocks are two, yes two huge minutes different. How could this happen? Only one
explanation. The Leap Second is having an identity crisis over public
indecision to let it live on in peace or end its life. Wouldn’t you be acting
out too? So, maybe I should just reset them. But that would take too much time.
2.
Radio commercials don’t make sense.
a.
Since when do 48-hour sales last more than 48 hours?
Since the Leap Second decided it was tired of being put on the backburner. How
else can you explain the commercial I heard this morning for the Wilderness
Lodge and their “48-hour sale”… which ends Sunday. Huh? What is today? It is
Wednesday, right? So…. I’m no rocket genius here, but… that’s more than a 48-hour
sale. Curses Leap Second!
3.
I’m losing huge chunks of time.
a.
Where did this week go already? It’s half over?
I don’t remember that. Wasn’t I supposed to start a FB page for my business,
reach out to potential clients, and work on a contract? Mop the floors and
finish up laundry? Call a few friends and family members I haven’t talked to in
a while? Pick up birthday gifts and yes, actually a few Christmas gifts for
folks I was supposed to see last month? Damn you Leap Second! What are you
doing to all my time?
4.
My little one is barreling toward her first
birthday.
a.
No. way. My little baby, my little girl, will be
one year old next month? How could this happen? Wasn’t she just hanging out in
my tummy? Didn’t I just hold her in my arms for the first time? Didn’t she just
smile for the first time? Roll over? Sit up? Stand? Crawl? The leap second has
rushed me through an amazing, whirlwind, best year of my life. But leap second,
I need more time… more time with my little girl…
All of this thinking about time… my lack of it… my misuse of
it… my coveting more of it… got me asking the question: What would you do with
more time? Less time? Isn’t the answer to both of those questions the same?
For me it is. So that’s why today, I’m going to take a
second, maybe even a leap second, maybe even a few seconds, to do three things:
1.
Appreciate and love my friends and family.
2.
Advance my career dreams.
3.
Take better care of me, so I can have more time…
to misuse. To covet. To live.
I couldn’t wrap up a guest blog post to Anub, without a
tribute to the show that’s made topics like these so much fun to ponder.
Humbly, I present to you, the Summer of
George.
Special shout out to Anub and VLV, for inspiring me to
write.
Thanks White Chocolate, but the guantlet has been thrown dear readers, bring it or sit on the effing sidelines your whole life. Your choice!
RANDOM RANTS!
Lite FM is run by communists!
As I was sitting in my dentist chair today, I heard the very popular Kid Rock song "All Summer Long". (Yes on lite FM, Kid shudders).
Here are the lyrics: "while we were trying different things we were smoking funny things
making love out by the lake to our favorite song
drinking whiskey out the bottle
not thinking bout tomorrow
singing sweet old Alabama all night long"
I shit you not, they bleeped out the word "SMOKING"! So wait it is OK to drink whiskey out of the bottle and screw in sweet old Alabama, but SMOKING funny things is bleeped!? What are lite FM listeners being protected from? Is this the left or the right of the political spectrum making these calls? I "literally" spit at the hygienist when I heard the bleep. Sorry sweet hygienist, that was uncool.
This morning my wife gave me a compliment. It was stated in a way that gave me a little twinge of "hey if you play your cards right, tonight we ride!". So off I go full of self confidence to Walgreen's to buy some mints so the office isn't always subjected to my 19th cup of coffee breath. As I headed back to the car I made the startling realization that I locked the car and didn't have my keys.
Thought 1: I left the car running with keys in ignition - no not that dumb
Thought 2: I put them in my bag as I do each day heading into the office and locked the car, no not that dumb
Thought 3: Hell if I know, so I called home and ask for a bailout
It was cold so I walked back into the drug store and the douche behind the counter reaches out and hands me my keys. Now I have to hurry and call home, only to get told I am a dumbass. SO wait, that asshole knew I left my keys on the counter and made zero effort to walk out the door and hand them to me before I had to call home and announce that I am lame to a woman who just proclaimed I looked good? REALLY?
Let me get this straight we can make a tin can carrying hundreds of tons fly 600 miles an hour across the world, but we can't stop lazy stupid people from ruining my chances at nub rub time. That just makes me sad.
I leave you tonight with the epitome of why 80's "heavy" metal is so fun to re-watch. This has everything, tongue wagging, guitar slamming, hair, lights, and the "SCREAM" of rock and roll. So bad, yet so good. Enjoy, good night, and be sad that I'll be lonely.
3 Fingers
This morning my wife gave me a compliment. It was stated in a way that gave me a little twinge of "hey if you play your cards right, tonight we ride!". So off I go full of self confidence to Walgreen's to buy some mints so the office isn't always subjected to my 19th cup of coffee breath. As I headed back to the car I made the startling realization that I locked the car and didn't have my keys.
Thought 1: I left the car running with keys in ignition - no not that dumb
Thought 2: I put them in my bag as I do each day heading into the office and locked the car, no not that dumb
Thought 3: Hell if I know, so I called home and ask for a bailout
It was cold so I walked back into the drug store and the douche behind the counter reaches out and hands me my keys. Now I have to hurry and call home, only to get told I am a dumbass. SO wait, that asshole knew I left my keys on the counter and made zero effort to walk out the door and hand them to me before I had to call home and announce that I am lame to a woman who just proclaimed I looked good? REALLY?
Let me get this straight we can make a tin can carrying hundreds of tons fly 600 miles an hour across the world, but we can't stop lazy stupid people from ruining my chances at nub rub time. That just makes me sad.
I leave you tonight with the epitome of why 80's "heavy" metal is so fun to re-watch. This has everything, tongue wagging, guitar slamming, hair, lights, and the "SCREAM" of rock and roll. So bad, yet so good. Enjoy, good night, and be sad that I'll be lonely.
3 Fingers
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